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The O'Raven Chronicles is Honored and Amused to Host this Guest Post for and by Jay Mims!
DISCLAIMER: The Views within this guest post do not necessarily reflect those of The O'Raven Chronicles! lol
And Now JAY MIMS;
Hello Gentle O’Raven readers,
I’m doing a special Christmas in July tour, and what better
day to kick it off then our nation’s birthday? With that in mind, here’s
“Mimsey’s Top 11 American Icons”. Why 11? Because I’m a giver.
PHOTO:
CAPTION: And a
sexy beast.
11) Weird Al
PHOTO:
CAPTION: A
perfect addition to any weekend getaway
Al Yankovic is an amazing musician, songwriter and satirist.
He also has one of the funniest Twitter
feeds ever. Also, if you have never seen UHF then seriously stop what you’re doing and watch it. Right now.
I’ll wait.
PHOTO:
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CAPTION: While
you’re at it, consider that Al is aging backward. He may in fact be a Time
Lord. Yes, Weird Al is actually Doctor Who.
And if Thomas Edison, Henry Ford and Elvis Presley have
taught us anything, it’s that taking someone else’s original work and putting
your own spin is THE AMERICAN WAY!
PHOTO:
CAPTION: It’s a
tough burden being this good.
10) Wonder Woman
PHOTO:
CAPTION: Fighting
crime with fashion accessories!
Wonder Woman, the DC Comics superheroine, may be an Amazon
from the island of Themyscira, but that red, white and blue corset is as
American as apple pie.
PHOTO:
CAPTION: I like
to believe that whever she goes, whatever she does, Lynda Carter is wearing
this outfit at all times.
With super strength, the ability to fly, super speed, a
magic lasso, bullet proof bracelets, a throwable tiara and an invisible jet,
Wonder Woman has it all covered. She also has one of the most memorable themes EVER. Seriously, that
thing will be stuck in your head ALL DAY!
PHOTO:
CAPTION: Yes,
invisible jet. She can fly but has an invisible jet. Why? Because she’s Wonder
Woman! Deal with it!
9) Rocky Balboa
PHOTO:
CAPTION: The
Italian Stallion ladies and gentlemen!
Rocky Balboa, the lovable loser played by Sylvester Stallone
scratches his way to success through perseverance, hard work, and the ability
to be beaten repeatedly in the head. If that’s not the American Way, I don’t
know what is.
PHOTO:
CAPTION: And in Rocky IV he defeats He-Man and brings
down Communism. Through friendship!
What’s really great is that in the original Rocky, Balboa doesn’t even win. It’s Rocky II where the dude actually wins.
And in true American tradition, ends up being best friends with Apollo Creed!
No seriously, this epic boxing film is really about friendship!
PHOTO:
CAPTION: And
subtle homoeroticism.
8) Jeannie/Samantha
PHOTO:
CAPTION: Girl
power!
In the 1960s, America had not one but two TV shows about
near-omnipotent women who decide that what they really want is a man in their
lives. Kind of. Bewitched was about a beautiful
woman who marries a man, tells him she’s a witch, and then her mother-in-law
make his life a living hell. With Paul Lynde as Uncle Arthur!
PHOTO:
CAPTION: “It’s so
hard to get ahead in life!”
I Dream of Jeannie is about an Air
Force astronaut who finds a beautiful genie and hijinks ensue!
PHOTO:
CAPTION: This
show is 100 times better if you imagine this series as a prequel to Dallas.
Both shows were incredibly progressive in terms of gender
politics, where the male characters were mostly comedic foils, the women really
wore the pants in the family, and the marriage was an equal partnership. A very
1960s skewed partnership, but you take progress where you can get it.
PHOTO:
CAPTION: Also,
this is what Barbara Eden looks like at 78.
7) Batman
PHOTO:
CAPTION: I am
vengeance! I am the night! I EXFOLIATE!
This is where I tell you who Batman is. You are on the
internet. Don’t play that game.
PHOTO:
CAPTION: Batman
fights a shark using a lightsaber. Your argument is invalid.
This is a man whose super-powers are his indomitable will,
his commitment to justice, and money. Like Scrooge McDuck levels of money. And if a man who uses a can-do attitude,
overwhelming force, and all the technology the military industrial complex’s
money can buy isn’t an American icon, then I don’t know what is!
PHOTO:
6) The Fonz
PHOTO:
CAPTION: Aaay!
The breakout star of the TV series Happy Days, Fonzie played by Henry Winkler defined cool. He
could start the jukebox with a fist thump, was best friends with a ginger, and
could jump a shark in a single bound.
PHOTO:
CAPTION: Leather
jackets always make the best swimwear.
Here was a short Jewish guy who stood up for those who
couldn’t defend themselves, always kept his cool, and NEVER took gruff from
bullies.
VIDEO:
5) Spider-Man
PHOTO:
CAPTION: Spider-Man
wants candy!
Living by the code that with great power, comes great
responsibility the Marvel character Spider-Man is as American as homemade apple
pie. He lives in New York, he takes care of his elderly aunt, and he makes
money by selling photos of himself. Self-promotion, the American way!
PHOTO:
CAPTION: He makes
it look good!
If I’m being honest, Spidey was and is my favorite hero. He
was the first comic I ever read, was my favorite cartoon character, and I love
all the movies. Even Spider-Man 3!
He’s everything you could want from a hero, and is a true American icon.
PHOTO:
CAPTION: In all
seriousness, this is one of the best comics ever written.
4) Bruce Springsteen
PHOTO:
CAPTION: Go
ahead, start singing Born in the U.S.A. we’ll
wait.
The Boss is a true American icon. A Jersey boy who made
good, Bruce is a Rock and Roll Hall of Famer, the epitome of the working man,
and has probably contributed more to the American musical landscape then
Francis Scott Key.
PHOTO:
CAPTION: A man
and his guitar, a love story.
One of my favorite Christmas songs is “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”
by Springsteen, and if you’ve ever listened to Top 40 Radio between November
and January, you’ve heard that song. The highlight for me is The Boss’
interaction with Clarence, the saxophonist for the E-Street band. Clarence
Clemons passed away June 12, 2011.
PHOTO:
CAPTION: Play on
Clarence, play on!
3) Superman
PHOTO:
CAPTION: He’s
here to rescue you!
Standing for truth, justice, and the American way, the man
of steel was sent to Earth from his dying planet Krypton, found by loving
parents in Kansas, and raised to be a beacon of hope.
PHOTO:
CAPTION: He’s
also a cat person.
An immigrant from another planet, Supes does everything in
his power to make sure no one gets hurt on his watch. He’s the big blue Boy
Scout, represents the best people can be, and is a true American icon.
PHOTO:
2) Michael Bay
PHOTO:
CAPTION: MORE
BOOM!
The director of such art house films as The Rock, Armageddon, and
the Transformers trilogy, love him or
hate him, the guy’s movies make money. And giant explosions. And Megan Fox
running in slow motion.
PHOTO:
CAPTION: Michael
Bay doesn’t find explosions. Explosions find Michael Bay.
His films fart bald eagles and crap apple pie. Michael Bay
bleeds red, white and blue. He’s done more to promote the military then Top Gun and Stripes combined. What’s more, the guy makes the kinds of movies he
wants to make. He’s a true American hero.
PHOTO:
CAPTION: He even
makes Martin Lawrence look intimidating!
So, what’s #1? What is Mimsey’s all-time favorite American
icon?
PHOTO:
CAPTION: Who
else?
1) Captain America
The original Avenger himself, Captain America is an American
story. A weakling who volunteers for an experimental drug, Cap gets a
mega-boost of awesome and proceeds to punch out Hitler.
PHOTO:
CAPTION: The
first issue came out in March, 1941. Just laying it out there.
Created by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby, published by what would
become Marvel Comics, Captain America fights evil with a giant shield, red,
white and blue color scheme, and a lot of punches. In fact, there’s not many
problems that can’t be solved by Cap hitting it as hard as he can. Why? Because
he’s American! USA! USA! USA!
And so as we wrap this up, let me leave you with this
wonderful theme tune of the beloved Captain America!
VIDEO:
Jay Mims has seen every Muppet movie, even the terrible
“Wizard of Oz” one. He lives with a passive-aggressive Dalek named Steve, a
quasipet cat named Eartha Kitty, a lizard named Bob, and may have adopted a
second cat Meowthezar. He writes books
and is far funnier on Facebook then in real life. He is terrible at Twitter. His
next book "The Gray Ghost Inn" is due out October 15, 2013. Feel free
to email him here.
*******
The O'Raven Chronicles would like to Thank Jay Mims for stopping by and visiting with us today!
The O'Raven Chronicles would like to Thank Jay Mims for stopping by and visiting with us today!
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